despite the fact that it’s felt like summer here for at least two months, now that it’s officially here, let’s catch up. here are the highlights:
- it’s hot. like, however warm it is in your city right now, add thirty degrees*. and then add an infinitely boiling pot of water to every room of your house. does it feel like those saunas you sit in at spas for, say, ten minutes? YUP. nailed it.** now never leave.
- the heat does have a few perks. mainly an excuse to add ice cream to coffee and pretty much everything else (i have too much shame to post a photo of my freezer right now, but suffice it to say that if every single person reading this came over right now, we would have enough ice cream for all of you…to have your own gallon.)
- the farmers market is AMAZING. every kind of pepper you could ever want, peaches, berries, ten ears of corn for $3, and juuust starting to get tomatoes in. we’ve been grilling 90% of our meals (the other 10% is just ice cream, come on, keep up), like the grilled corn, grilled jalapeno, and heirloom tomato salad above. all from local farms, all for $2 (take that, jeff bezos!) (for real, wouldn’t you rather help earl at the farmers market send his kid to college than this bald fucker send his DNA to mars, or whatever the fuck tech CEOs are into these days??)
- our garden is so beautiful and lush and green right now. at the same time, it is a god-forsaken mosquito-breeding hellscape. being without blood and the sweet, sweet smell of ice cream in their veins, our plants are thriving, and we’re finally starting to get some veggies in – we harvested our first cucumber this morning and it was the highlight of my whole month, well worth the 42 mosquito bites i surely received in the two-minute process.
**i know the bay area had a heat wave last week. congratulations. find me when it stays above 85, all day and all night, FOR FOUR MONTHS.
*want it to feel like florida? follow the previous steps and then add zika-infected mosquitoes, a spritz of cheap cologne, and some guy trying to sell you timeshares. #welcometohell