welcome to a new section on my blog – North Carolina Drinking Games, where we’ll be drinking in both celebration and mourning of everything wonderful and terrible in this state, and what it reflects in this country.
today, starting us off, we’re talking about racism (because we all know easing into things isn’t my strong suit). let’s not pretend either that the south has a monopoly on racism, or that i’m in any kind of position to be speaking on racism; rather, i’m just here to partake in two of my favorite things: dark humor and talking shit in public. and believe me, though the south doesn’t have a monopoly on racism, the particular brand of hypocrisy and willful ignorance here definitely demands a drink.
(“jeez emma, don’t you think that now, more than ever, we need to reach across the divide and come together as a country?” no, fuck you. that shit went out the door sometime around “mexicans are rapists” and, oh yeah, 250 years of white supremacy.)
here are the rules:
- drink one shot every time your neighbor warns you that the neighborhood is “still transitional” and you better lock your windows at night
- drink one shot every time you want to deface/tear down/urinate on a statue commemorating “our confederate dead”
- drink one shot every time your congressional map looks like this
- drink one shot when even the current conservative supreme court rules that this map was designed to diminish black voters’ political voice
- and drink one more when the nc legislature is more upset about being told to fix the map than the map itself
- drink one shot every time a car with trump bumper stickers drives by blasting tupac
- drink one shot any time someone says the confederate flag is just about southern history, not slavery
- drink one shot every time you see a car with trump bumper stickers at a local taqueria (half a shot if they’re at chipotle)
- drink one shot when your (southern) state has the gall to put “first in freedom” on their license plates, and everyone’s like “oh it isn’t about that,” and you’re like OKAY SO?!
- and finally, drink one last shot if by some miracle you haven’t yet slipped into an angry, semi-conscious drunken stupor, stumbling around your house breaking things and then yelling at them for being so similar to all of us shitty-ass white people: FRAGILE