east of eden, southeast of home

 

my favorite book is probably east of eden by john steinbeck. without giving too much away, the story centers around the biblical concept of “timshel,” hebrew for “thou mayest.” not “thou must” or “thou should” or “thou BETTER or see what the fuck happens,” but thou mayest.

the photos above are of beautiful downtown raleigh, taken about eight years ago and captioned half-jokingly on facebook, “my future home!” have you ever gotten an idea stuck in your head and it just sits there like a pebble in your shoe? you keep walking but the pebble’s always there. and then finally, with a little push from the world and your shitty landlord and the miracles of remote working, you’re like, okay fine, pebble, let’s do this.

to stop walking down the path that’s been laid out for you and forge your own, based on nothing but a small inkling at the back of your mind, a hunch, the smell of fresh flowers, humidity, and a second-floor cafe, is no small thing.

to have the flexibility, the financial means, the network of love and support, to choose that path is enormous.

because of this love and support, i’ve followed that hunch, preventing what would have likely ended up being a big, painful blister later on in life, had i ignored the pebble. because of you, i was both brave and lucky enough to move 3,000 miles across the country, sight-unseen, to a place i spent a total of maybe 48 hours when i was 19. because of you, i made the best decision of my life.

because of you, i may.

 

 

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